5 Responses for "The deposit has been made"

1. Jim ~ mydebtblog.com May 14th, 2008 at 7:20 am 1

   Sometimes when the little bird needs to learn how to fly, they get kicked out of the nest. My brother is a boomerang kid in that he left and came back. Meanwhile when I went to college I told my parents not to plan on me returning. My wife and I got our apartments without help from our parents. Half of our money went to the household bills like rent, utilities, and food. I think the hard part about the real world is that life is hard and the money can run out quickly. I hope you didn’t pick up the prescription for her, she should be responsible for that. How do you feel about her leaving?

2. messy May 15th, 2008 at 8:40 am 2

   Jim - I feel horrible about her moving out. I feel like it’s killing me. I worry about her enough and she’s still living at home, I can’t imagine how much I’ll worry about her when she leaves in July.

   My oldest and I went to Walmart together a few days ago and she seriously bitched me out the whole 20 minute drive there. She went on and on and on. I did my fair share of yelling back at her too. She holds the fact that I didn’t graduate college over my head. If you can believe this, she says I didn’t graduate college because I had a baby - that baby was her and she still resents it. I told her the whole reason I didn’t graduate college was because I had car problems that ate up all my savings and that is the simple truth.

   I refuse to sign the lease on her apartment because I know she can’t afford to pay the rent and I don’t want to be stuck paying the rent because I can’t afford it either.

   I refuse to fill out financial aid papers because I know she won’t qualify her dad/my husband makes too much money. Since I refuse to fill out the papers she feels that I should finance her whole college expenses. She’s completely unrealistic and despite this I still don’t want her to leave home. The girl has way too much “party” in her for her own good.

   She also yelled at me that I should have made her save the $8,700 that she made working at the grocery store last year. I told her that I told her all the time to save the money and she wouldn’t listen. She actually told me that I should have went with her to pick up her check and then I should have walked her to the bank and made her deposit the whole check in her custodial savings account. Can you believe that???

   On the drive to Walmart she told me that she was seriously thinking about never talking to her dad or myself once she moves out because we refuse to pay for her college and living expenses. I told her that no one paid for my expenses or her dad’s expenses and neither one of us ever expected anyone to. I also told her to do what she needed to do and if that means not talking to her parents then so be it.

   I think she must have felt bad about what she said because in Walmart she was pretty much sucking up to be big time.

   I think she’s just going to have to learn the hard way and fall on her face a few times.

3. Jim ~ mydebtblog.com May 15th, 2008 at 10:49 am 3

   I don’t think she necessarily has to learn the hard way, but college is a transition point where one needs to take responsibility. It sounds like there’s a bit of entitlement going on in that she feels her college should be provided for her. You are not making a mistake by not cosigning, the reason they would need a cosigner is because they don’t think the leaseholder can pay. Does she realize what she got into?

   So if she wants to go to college how is she going to pay for it? If she is working, putting the money she makes away will help. Getting good grades in school is just as important because a good GPA can help her get scholarships and grants (have her go to FastWeb.com). The last option is to go take out student loans. You could help her by filling out a FAFSA application, but chances are the only financial aid she will be offered are federal student loans. It never hurts to at least try. The FAFSA papers don’t connect you as a cosigner if she chooses to take out federal student loans. My parents made too much money and I had to pay my way along with some student loans to do it. I also started out by living in the dorms and eating the glass they called food in the cafeteria. An apartment is a huge responsibility which I didn’t have until I was in my senior year.

   She’s just being a typical arrogant kid almost done with grade school and can’t wait to go have fun. My mom was like that, which is why she didn’t make it through one semester of college. I went to college with the attitude that I needed that piece of paper to prove to a company I know what I’m doing when it comes to a computer. At the same time I had fun too, joined student organizations, involved with student government, was an officer in my fraternity, and graduated with honors. College can be the best years of your life if you know what you’re going after. As they say, those days are gone.

4. Kim May 15th, 2008 at 5:30 pm 4

   Hi…I’m new here…I just wanted to comment that I think you will need to fill out the FAFSA form also. My daughter is 20 and in her second year of college - the first year she got scholarships - the second year she received no financial aid or scholarships whatsoever. But when you fill out the FAFSA form there is a place that you check off if you would like to take out a loan if you do not qualify for financial aid, and they will automatically take care of everything for you. Last year my daughter did not qualify for aid, but she qualified for a low interest federally insured loan through the bank of her choice (they give you a list to choose from). The loan is in her name only, we are not obligated in any way to pay that back for her, but if they are under the age of 24, regardless of if they live at home or not, they need to provide their parent’s financial information to qualify for a low interest government backed loan. There is no way around it that I know of. You are making it too difficult for her - every college student I know (and I know a lot of them) had help from their parents - not in paying for the expenses necessarily but at least with the FAFSA form and obtaining a loan. She will not be able to fill that out without your help unless you provide her with all the intimate financial details for you and your husband. No offense, but I never heard of a parent refusing to fill out the FAFSA form for their child. You will force her to have to take out a private student loan at an insanely high interest rate.

5. Kim May 15th, 2008 at 5:52 pm 5

   Let me just say one more time…the loan will be in her name only…you will not be a co-signor or be obligated in any way to pay it back. But she will need to fill out the FAFSA form to obtain a Federal Stafford Loan at a low interest rate.