Was my butt really that big?

My husband and 17 year old daughter make daily comments to me telling me my butt is getting smaller and smaller from all the walking and dieting I’ve been doing.  I know this sounds like a trap and maybe it was, I asked my husband last night exactly how big my butt was to begin with and him being a man, actually showed me with his hands.  Men, this is a no-no, do not do this even if your wife asks you to show her!  I guess I had a giant butt and didn’t even realize it.  I knew it was big, my butt has always been big (think JLo large back when I was in high school) but come on, he must have been exaggerating!

Wild Pigs!

The other day after I dropped the kids off at school I went on my 2 mile walk while my man was sleeping in and I came across a wild sow and four piglets.  I was walking down a private road that borders our property.  Our property goes back 1/2 mile and then this private road goes back another 1/2 mile to a gate.  The road has a few twists and goes back to an old unused office.  I never see any cars when I’m back there and there aren’t any houses or trees.  I happened to notice what looked like burnt log by the almost dry creek.  I froze still and just watched, knowing it looked out of place.  Then the “burnt log” started limping and I saw a bunch of black things moving behind it and knew it was a sow and her litter.

I got scared because there wasn’t anything for me to run behind or jump on besides the road, open field and dry creek, if she decided to charge so I called my husband on my cell.  He told me to go catch the babies!  Ya right!  Then he went on to tell me for about the 500th time how he used to catch wild piglets as a kid and would nut the boys (fix them and hope to come across them again as adults) and let them go and keep the females, raise them up and then sell them at auction.  Well I know for a fact that he also had a rifle in case the mama pig attacked and he couldn’t get away.  I’m also fairly certain he had some rope, all I had was a cell phone!  Then my man told me he’d come and help me catch them.   I told him there was no way I was going to take that mama pigs babies even if she was hurt because I was sure she’d try and kill me.   So now I’m a little worried about walking back there, if there were pigs I’m sure there are mountain lions.  I guess I’ll be sticking to the main road.

Is the tooth fairy real?

My eight year old son asked me this the other day at Walmart I told him that if he believed she’d come and visit him and if he didn’t she wouldn’t show up.  Less than a minute later my boy popped out a tooth.  I forgot to play tooth fairy the first night, couldn’t find the tooth under his pillow the second night, and that morning my son woke up so mad because the tooth fairy didn’t show up again that he wanted to go throw his tooth away.  I calmed him down and asked where he’d been putting his tooth and he told me very matter of factly, “Under my bed”.  LOL - no wonder I couldn’t find the tooth!

Tagged as: Dieting Story, My Butt, Tooth Fairy, Wild Pigs